I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
