My hair reeks of homosexuality.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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