Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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