Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
