I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
