hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
third nipple confirmed
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
