So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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