he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Randomize
