Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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