I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
