Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
