why didn't you poke me back
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
