We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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