return my video game
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My breasts were aching with rage.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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