Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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