Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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