you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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