She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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