I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
