just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Too much gin, very little bucket
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
