We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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