We're like a lot better than the average bears
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
