you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
where are you?
Hypothermia
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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