Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
