she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
