yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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