HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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