I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
