Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
the liver wants what the liver wants
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
