bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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