oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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