it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
