I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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