I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
my poor anus
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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