Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
