Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Holy shit dude........stairs
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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