We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
