plz talk dirty to me
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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