we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
