Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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