Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
