Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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