Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
we're making bets on your personal life
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
