the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
