fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
