I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
