Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
