I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
