awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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