just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
