3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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