Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
