well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
