I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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